When I was a little girl I LOVED to play with my dolls and barbies. I couldn't wait to be a mom. When I was a little girl I dreamt of being married to the most wonderful man and living in a house with a flower garden in the front. I am a mom and I am married to the most wonderful man ever. Nope- we don't have a house yet or a flower garden...someday.... But when I was a little girl I didn't think about how HARD it is to carry on the REAL LIFE task of being a wife and mother. It sure is a FULL TIME JOB. FULL TIME.
Today at church Nolen was taken out of the first hour about 5 times. He was hitting and throwing his toys- and the Ollie freaked out and did his normal uncontrollable screaming. Once Nolen was in nursery he was fine- until about a half hour later when Ollie wouldn't calm down and I heard Nolen crying uncontrollably himself in nursery. Long story short- I had tears too. It was one of those moments where I just wanted to quit. Just for a minute. I just needed a break- I wanted to flash back to the days of having NO RESPONSIBILITY for anyone but MYSELF. We took the boys home- put Ollie down, and put Nolen in front of the T.V. to watch Bambi. Owen went back to church and I just layed on the couch trying to fall asleep. Near the last half of the movie Nolen snuggled up to me and soon fell asleep in my arms. Nolen NEVER cuddles. Right then I mushed. I mushed hard. I realized as I was holding my baby that these hard times/days come A LOT, but oh my how it is worth it. Even though at times I want to QUIT the mom/wife business I can't. I physically, emotionally can't. I know that this is my ultimate calling in life- to be a supportive, loving wife to my best friend and to love and raise my children so that we all can be together FOREVER.